I'm Claire-Madeline
*Note that as a Resident in Counseling in the state of Virginia, I practice as a pre-licensed clinician (No 0704016061) under the licensed supervision of Victoria Holroyd (No. 0701005563). For a detailed explanation of the regulations governing my practice, please review the statutes.
Well...it *literally* started on an island called Kismet (yes, really). My mother packed 9-month-old me up for a family vacation shortly after her father's passing. And at the end of the trip, she did not return to the home she made, but the home where she was raised.
The rest was someone else's version of my history. Every single re-write had a man at the center of the narrative.
If it wasn't told through the point of view of a man, the plot centered me in the narrative in relationship to a man who was absent. And this had consequences.
It wasn't that I felt unlovable. It was that I felt like I could not locate myself in my own life.
Kismet, LI, 1990
☑️ I tried earning my purpose (perfectionism).
☑️ I tried loving other people into my own sense of belonging (co-dependence).
☑️ & then finally I lost the plot.
Maybe you've been there too: you've reached the limit of your origin story and don't know how to start over without abandoning yourself in the process.
For me, I dropped out of college and got *curious* about every self-sabotaging decision I had ever made: the relationship patterns, the abandonment plot-line on repeat, the unshakable feeling that I was an exile in my own life.
Owning my story meant telling the version I didn't have the language for (& no woman in my family had ever given herself permission to tell)
Of my grandmother, my mother, and I, I was the first to complete college. Honoring the women before me meant using the privilege of my education to claim authority as the first person narrator of my own life.
THIS MEANT BEING CURIOUS ABOUT my pain, but also about my desire. it meant learning that I am inherently, unconditionally worthy of what sets my heart on fire.
I went from college drop out to double masters after finding healing from the complex trauma of this inherited abandonment narrative.
Photobooth Outake # 198
I believe that writing is a vehicle for self-transformation.
I believe that we have a God-given right
to celebrate ourselves with joy & reverence.
I believe that taking interest in ourselves and in our work is our responsibility as humans and creators.
And most importantly you already have everything you need inside of you. You just need to learn to trust yourself through intentional relationship.
Today, I frame an M.F.A in Creative Writing from Sarah Lawrence College and an M.Ed in Counseling from William and Mary in my office, but I took road-less-travelled approach to these two degrees, homing in on a few core beliefs.
Straight talk, with a side of sarcasm.
Jesus.
Letter-length emails,
Helping you find
that "I-was-created-for this" belief in yourself.
"Should-ing" the way to the future.
Perfectionism.
Taking it for granted:
the divine grace in our flaws & our failings.
Either/0r thinking.
"Be unafraid of the ocean of memory. Its force is your power & your strength.
— CLAIRE-MADELINE
words to live by
Come hang a while!
Cozy up in your favorite blanket & read: self-care, personal growth, writing & editing - I cover it all here.
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PENCIL ME IN!
Honest conversations about grief, joy, and writing, complete with writing playlists, journaling prompts, and insights from my walk through this life with God by my side. Make like it's 1998 and get exited to have mail again.
